i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
