what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
