Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
