I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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