did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
