If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize