You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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