I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
