I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We need to rekindle our bromance
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
