fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
