I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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