if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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