i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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