I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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