please come you make the beer taste better
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
