it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
