omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
