Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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