I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
