Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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