apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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