I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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