I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
