i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
