I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
