I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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