we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
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it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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