I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
