yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
