Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
