I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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