FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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