There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
