Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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