Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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