there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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