so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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