You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
