Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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