Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
