he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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