smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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