Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
