I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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