All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
