I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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