Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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