I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
