he told me I talked like a deaf person
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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