I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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