Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
