dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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