Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
