I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
