you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize