another moral hangover. fuck.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Randomize
