...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
