Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
