what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
