Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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