it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
