Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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