Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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