guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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