I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
