I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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