Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
