I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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