i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
